Autumn Reflection...
I'm not sure why but until very recently I had associated Winter with death. Summer was for life and fun, Spring for the budding of new life and Autumn for decline.

Autumn has always been my favourite season. Living in the Eastern Cape for most of my life has reinforced this. Summer is too hot, humid and rainy. Spring is too windy. Winter I like, except towards the end when it starts to get windy. Autumn means dry, warm days, cool nights, very little wind and no humidity. Also, I am a little melancholic so I feel that Autumn gets me.

I had always seen the natural cycles of death and life in the seasons and had made great peace with this, accepting that one day I too would become like an autumn leaf; older, blemished, dry and on my way to death. But this year I have seen something else in Autumn besides just the beauty of the colours.

I have seen that there is a promise of continuity built in to Autumn, specifically into the colour and smell. Not the continuity of karma or reincarnation because that is a never-ending, defeated cycle of hopelessness. I know that Nirvana sounds great to those who are sick of the pain of living and who would want to reach an eternal state of bliss; to dissolve into the collective divine consciousness, hey it even sounds great to me, but is it attainable or even desirable? I think not.

I see in the colours of autumn a promise of the colours of spring. In the last moments of a deciduous leaf's life it is transformed into a flag of hope that flutters and signals towards something that will have to be believed by faith because of course after the incredible parade of beauty comes death and as we all know, death is final. Or is it? And then the smell. I had not noticed before that autumn has a signature smell. Spring is obvious and in your face; overwhelming and undeniable - new life is here! But autumns scent is veiled and gentle; perceived by those who may be searching for meaning. It is very slightly sweet and softly spicy; like embalming lotion? But there it is, the second bridge of hope to cross the the chasm of death. It is not a negative smell and therein is the confirmatory sign. A scent from realms beyond what we now know.

Autumn just got better for me. It used to be my favourite season but things just got metaphysical. Now it's unbeatable.